Finding your teenage diary can be hilarious as well as horrifying, as I discovered this afternoon. A few of my favourite bloggers have been rooting out their own journals from way back when with a sort of “here’s what I’ve learned since then…” theme in mind, and it inspired me to peruse through my own.
(One blog I would recommend for this kind of thing is the lovely Tess Simpson. Her writing is awesome).
I threw most of my diaries away when I moved back home from University but one I did find was written by a 14 year old me. I’d just had my braces taken off, and wore an awful retainer which gave me a weird lisp. My hair was long and horrendously frizzy, and because I was lazy and didn’t care I just let it do its own thing most days. I wore t-shirts printed with cringe-inducing slogans like “Give Me the Chocolate and No One Gets Hurt!” and “Warning! May Answer Back.” What a D-I-V-A.
I was shy at school and could not for the life of me communicate with boys. My insecurities had a tendency to eat me up, and I wasn’t much into make-up or fashion (my crap slogan t-shirts were probably the only highlight).
The issue with being 14 is that every tiny detail feels like the most important thing in the whole world. Your friends are your life, school sucks and your parents don’t have a damn clue. Everything feels so enormous because you haven’t yet experienced much out of your own little bubble.
I’m not brave enough to share any substantial excerpts from my diary but here’s a few quotes, and some stuff I’ve picked up from an afternoon’s reading.
When I was 14, I…
- was desperate to be a journalist. I didn’t know what kind but as long as I was writing, I’d be happy.
- liked High School Musical. A lot. “HSM premiere is on TONIGHT on Disney Channel. Jack and I are going to watch it and am having chicken kiev for dinner. Result!!” Calm down, love.
- was in the midst of the infamous ‘Jane Norman phase’. Does anyone remember collecting those rubbish plastic Jane Norman bags to carry your school stuff in? They were totally crap and only ever lasted about two days. “Emma bought a really nice necklace in Jane Norman but the stupid lady only gave her one of the small bags. She’ll never fit her P.E. kit in it.”
- talked about boys. Constantly. “[mystery boy 1] must know I like him by now. Every time he enters the room I’m staring at him like a drugged-up goldfish. The other day he sat next to me in the library and I got such a shock I lost control of the mouse and ended up having a weird hand spasm. Plus I was researching the Oedipus complex for English which can’t have looked brilliant.“
- knew how to have a good time. “It’s Luke’s 3rd birthday. Going to the circus. Should be a hoot.”
- pondered in deep and meaningful thought. “So unfair that Mum said I can’t go to the school disco because we had that argument. WHAT IS LIFE.”
My role models were… from what I can tell, Miley Cyrus (no I am not joking), Kelly Clarkson and Girls Aloud.
My aims in life… to achieve a good education, and stop biting my nails, which I still haven’t done properly. To stop being so weird all the time, which I also have not done properly.
I’ve written my height here as 5’2. I’VE GROWN A MEASLY TWO INCHES IN 8 SODDING YEARS??? That can’t be right.
The friends I talk about in my diary… are mostly the friends I still have today. Reading those nice bits make this cringe-fest a little more worth it.
More excerpts to come soon…maybe when I feel braver.
Image source: acykwacy.blogspot.com