To my dear Mother,
I know better than anyone that gushy, soppy statements are not your thing. You’re from Middlesbrough and it comes with the territory, so I’m told. (Joke).
But since it’s almost Mother’s Day, and you’re actually rather bloody great, I thought you deserved just a little bit of thanks for all the lovely, generous things you have done for me these past 22 years. Not too much though, because, you know, sentiment is for losers.